Well, Anne Shirley, you've really done it this time! Talk about a bad hair day! That picture really fits this past week well in the life of Kara with an E.
I began telling you all about it and then thought better of it and hit delete. Who cares?!? It's over and done with. However, I do want to share with you what God has taught me through it.
At one point my hubby had heard me say, "Why is this happening?" one too many times and his shepherding, spiritual leadership came out and it was wonderful. He shared with me about God's sovereignty and reminded me of His grace. Sometimes we think of God's wisdom as a tool to know exactly why He is doing what He is doing or why He is allowing things to happen. This isn't the truth. The truth is that God's wisdom is a gift for knowing how to handle the whys and the tough situations, not to know the details and thought process behind them. Every now and again God does show us why He might have allowed something to take place, but often times we are left wondering. The key is, how are we going to respond?
I responded like a rag doll in a heap behind the steering wheel driving in circles downtown. Once I finally found my hubby, he told me to go ahead and cry and then he said, "It's going to be ok, things like this just happen. We need to trust God." He was right.
Two days later, I was a rag doll at the computer wondering how in the world I messed up my boss' flight so bad. Again, my husband sat me down and reminded me of God's grace and encouraged me to take up faith and trust Him. I'm still not sure why it all happened, but I am learning that I need to respond with God's wisdom, self-control and gentleness in these situations.
Just when I needed to vent about it all, my blog was blocked by horrible ads. I apologize for this and am so embarrassed because I heard some of the ads were NOT good. I don't know how or why this happened, but I am choosing to respond with grace and faith.
I also learned during this time that I needed to be humbled before God, before my husband and before my boss. Once again, the sign smacks me in the face that says, "YOU ARE NOT PERFECT." Far from it, I might add. It's a great reminder every now and again.
It is so important to be on my face before God each day. I must prioritize my time with Him and my time in awe of Him. He is God. I am not. It's not about me. It's all about and for Him.
Hubby and I watched the movie, Luther, last night. It's the story of Martin Luther. My favorite part was listening to him scream at satan at the top of his lungs. He knew spiritual warfare and recognized it. He talked back to the demons and told them the truth of Christ and when the battle was nearly over, he would lay face down and repeat over and over, "I am Yours, save me...I am Yours, save me.... I am Yours, save me..." It was such an emotional time, but one that we can all relate to. We daily need to surrender to the Cross and see ourselves in light of it. We need saving.
Matthew comforted Anne and reminded her of her worth and spoke truth to her heart.
That's what God's word does for us. Let's soak up each word and let it penetrate our innermost being.
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph. 5:1-2
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Can you hear it? Can you feel it? Do you sense it? I do. It's coming. Change is coming.
I find myself in an odd place of limbo. Almost like the air right now. Warmer during the day yet still crisp and chilly at night... Spring is almost here... I can almost breath it in, yet it's still a few weeks away from fully revealing it's sunny, flowering, newness.
That's where I also am with a huge part of my life. More change is coming. I can almost embrace it but not quite because I'm not sure exactly what I am dealing with yet. I am in that limbo state where I can almost stand straight again, but not quite because the pole is still sitting just above my head.
Once the pole is gone...once the chilly nights leave us, what will be left? What am I standing up straight to? What will be involved with the change?
I'm not sure. But I know Who is. I know He knows every detail. He knows every flower that will bloom in just a few weeks time and He knows how many blades of grass are about to burst forth from the earth. He knows.
He knows what is just around the bend and He isn't keep it from me as some sort of game. He isn't laughing at me for not knowing. He is simply waiting. His timing is always perfect and it is for my good and His good. He loves me and He is comforting me as I wait. He is surrounding me and filling me with His peace as I wait.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to bring you good, to give you a future and a peace." Jeremiah 29:11
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. " Lamentations 3:22-23
I am looking forward to Spring, a new season and more change. With change comes growth, with growth comes sanctification and with sanctification comes a better understanding and closeness with my Lord.