The Proposal - What Would Be Easier?

Margaret: "There's a reason why I've been alone all this time, I'm comfortable that way. And I think it would just be a lot easier if we forgot everything that happened and I just left."

Andrew: "You're right, that would be easier."

Margaret: "I'm scared."

Andrew: "Me too." (They Kiss)

Never marrying would be a whole LOT easier in many ways. For those that are not married, I'm sure that sounds crazy considering your longing for a spouse, companion, lover and for the many, many joys of marriage (yes, there are MANY). However, for those that are married, you understand exactly what I mean. Almost every decision you make affects your spouse. For women, the cooking, cleaning and laundry doubled. I almost wrote a book and still might entitled, The Day My Laundry Doubled. Of course, it would be an encouraging book full of wisdom (that I am yet to attain) for new brides, yet I do believe everyone must know the truth about marriage instead of the false impression our Christian culture leans toward. Marriage isn't all about sex without sin, it isn't about unending infatuation or even lovingly discovering the mystery of your spouse 24/7. Yes, sex is amazing a lot of the time. Yes, I still look at my husband and often think that he is the most incredible man God could have made. Yes, there is much mystery to my hubby that I am yet to discover and yes, he is my best friend, companion and I wouldn't want to spend life with anyone else by my side. However, marriage is far from easy. In fact, it is the hardest thing I have done in my whole life and I am still doing it every day and will do it for the rest of my life, Lord willing.

That is why I LOVE those lines in the The Proposal. They accurately portray marriage. It isn't easy, they are both scared, but the love each other and are willing to sacrifice those feelings and their comfortable lives in order to spend it with each other. How beautiful!

I am currently reading 3 books and one of them I have read before I was married and I am re-reading it now that I can apply what I am learning. It is one of the most highly recommended books for newly weds and I totally agree! The title? You want to know it? Okay, okay... Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The big question the entire book is based upon is, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Isn't that powerful?

Allow me to share with you some inspiring quotes from the book, some by Thomas and others he simply includes to prove a point or add some humor.

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." ~ Socrates

"Marriage can be that holy place, the site of a relationship that proclaims God's love to this world, but Christian thinkers haven't always elected to look at marriage this way. For all their ambivalence about whether marriage is an inferior state, the early church fathers at least recognized that the analogy of reconciliation is the highest aim of marriage, pointing as a sign to the union of Christ with his church." ~ Gary Thomas

"Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion, but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting that any romance, however passionate." W.H. Auden

"Marriage is the merciless revealer, the great white searchlight turned on the darkest places of human nature." ~ Katherine Anne Porter

"A giant thread runs throughout Scripture comparing God's relationship to his people with the human institution of marriage." ~Gary Thomas

Is that enough to tickle your fancy or peek you interest? Even more than teaching me about marriage, I believe it will teach me to how to love God more. I'll keep you posted as I read along, but I just couldn't wait to share with you the incredible concept of holiness rather than happiness being our focus in marriage. What a breakthrough!! Now when Hubby and I have that argument or when I feel discouraged in our marriage, I am reminded that God is sanctifying me right now and I have an option as to how I respond. Godly or dishonoring to my husband and Christ? It can be a super hard choice, but it is easier to make the right one now that I know the purpose and God's plan in the midst of it all.

It really is beautiful and I am SO thankful that for once in my life I didn't take the easy way out.

It is high time to enjoy Red Meat!

Well....it is a cold, snowy, Saturday afternoon and I am sitting at Panera doing what I do best...eavesdropping. I know, "how terrible!" you may think...but actually it's A LOT of fun and you can learn so much about the human population. For instance, let me share with you about the ladies next to me. One is pushing 40...she has stated that several times... and the other is in her young twenties and "was on the cheer squad" (so was I but I think her's was a little more..."elite" if you know what I mean). Until a few moments ago I was utterly bored with their conversation but the women at the other table are not speaking English and Facebook has nothing new so I resorted to their dull conversation. I know, "how rude!" you may be thinking now, but honestly, it has been 20 minutes and so far we haven't covered anything but food, health, weight and money management. Boring! And then...alas...two key words struck my ear drums, resonated down to my heart and brought me the inspiration I was longing for today. What could those two words possibly be? RED MEAT. Yep, you guessed it...they weren't talking about how delicious it is, or the numerous health benefits or even how gorgeous those big black Angus calves can be. It was very negative...in fact one of them doesn't eat it at all and one avoids it if possible. Utterly heartbreaking. They stressed the importance of eating "plant based foods". Now, hear me out, I am all about eating healthy, staying fit and having balance in our diet. The key though is balance. This uneducated world is turning their back on another element of God's creation that offers so much to our diets! It would surpise you how often I hear similiar conversations. Oh my, National FFA Organization, we have much to do. For some of you, this means nothing. You may even eat red meat regularly (if so, thank you from the bottom of my heart) but you just do not understand my current rampage. This would be an important place to note that my daddy is a beef cattle producer. Not just any beef cattle producer but he has the most beautiful Angus herd I have ever seen. They look like velvet and taste like a million bucks, but I promise you that's not what you have to pay. I know the quality, health benefits and taste of that red meat so when I hear outright lies being spread about it I grow quickly frustrated. They are not only missing out on truth and the joy of beef, but they are also a part of the society who is hurting my father's business. For example, what if your dad was a chef and you know that he does an amazing job, serves creative dishes and runs a clean business, but one day you are sitting at a coffee shop and you over hear people discussing that they heard from so and so who knows that one person who said they have a cousin who got sick after eating at your dad's restaurant. Now a large portion of your town believes that your dad's food isn't good for them, it tastes bad and isn't clean. What would you do??? What would you say? How would you bring out the truth??? Those are the questions before me. The problem is I am up against a growing portion of the nation not just my town.

I beleive the real issue is that most people have not had a good steak. So many restaurants and people do not know how to fix red meat in a way that makes your mouth water, your toes tingle and your lips curl into a brilliant smile of satisfaction. Have you ever had that experience? If not I feel deeply sorry for you. This needs to change. I wish with all my heart you could taste one of my daddy's steaks that my hubby has grilled to perfection after days of marinating. Wow!

When I was home for Christmas I shared with my dad the concerns I have and the conversations I hear now that I am in "the city". He said that if I came up with a marketing plan he would be more than happy to sell his home grown, corn and grass fed beef to these city folks I have encountered. Our cattle are not massaged or petted daily, but they are never mistreated and have open pastures, no added hormones and little to no antibiotics. I know they will sell and if I can also put together information on the health benefits of red meat and some great recipes it will be a great start to educating the public and opening their eyes to the truth and to the delight they have been missing.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share with you one of my many passions. The cutest set of twins have just strolled in and parked with their parents at the table to my left and I'm eager to hear them "coo" and an odd looking couple just sat down behind me with the most curious expressions. Oh yes, those other two ladies are still here...they have moved on in their conversation to family pictures and the princess doll she just got her daughter - not that her daughter needs any help being a princess I'm sure! All this talk of food and beef though is making me hungry! It's lunch time and I think I am gong to enjoy an Asiago Roast Beef sand which with potato soup. Yes, even Panera, the "healthiest cafe of our time" serves Red Meat!!!

P.S. Here are some health benefits of Red Meat in case you are preparing your weekend dinner menus: Lowers risks of heart disease and high cholesterol. Red meat is a source of iron. Red meat also contains protein, levels of creatine, minerals such as zinc and phosphorus, and vitamins such as niacin, vitamin B, thiamin and riboflavin. Red meat is the richest source of Alpha Lipoic Acid, a powerful antioxidant.

Blind Side

Today I decided that if someone recorded all of my thoughts they would have a Bestseller on their hands! The things that run, dance and mosey across my mind astonish even me. One minute I think I have completey lost it altogether and then next I feel as though the last peice of the puzzle finally found it's home. Oh, let's not even talk about the emotions that accompany those thoughts. I told my hubby tonight that we have seriously got to pray about these emotions of mine! To that he kindly replied, "It's about time you admit that," which really helped my emotions.

Anyways, on to the real reason I sat down to write ....

Tonight we saw Sandra Bullock's new movie, "Blind Side". WOW! It really made me think about opportunities and how often I miss them. If we had the chance to adopt a 17 year old boy like that would we do it? I'd like to think we would. That one is somewhat easy though because we both love kids. What about bringing an elderly person into our home. A complete stranger that needed cared for in every way. That would be hard. Would we do it? By God's grace I want to believe I would want to, but oh my, the temptation to walk on by would be great.

What if it's not a huge opportunity like that, what about the opportunity to simply sow seeds each day. How many of those am I missing or ignoring?

Ecclesiastes 11:6 says, "In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good."

How many times do I think to myself sarcastically, "Like it will do any good to say anything..." or hastily, "Not today, I'm way too busy..."

It's time to change that. Father, please convict me powerfully when I am about to reject an opportunity. I pray that I will listen to Your spirit and have Your eyes and ears to see when a seed can be planted. I want to be used for Your glory. I am Your vessel, Your farmer, Your sower. I am Yours. Thank you for making me Yours.

Oh, and my friend, it's official, I have a new favorite actress (not over Audrey, but for sure over Julia)...Sandra Bullock!!! Thanks for reading. Let's check our blind sides more often and look for those opportunities!

Contentment

Contentment...that's a word I haven't used much. Sure, I use it when I am counseling a friend that seems to have all the same symptoms I have had lately, but me? Not content? Hmmmm....it's true. For the past couple of weeks a restlessness has filled me. This restlessness has even caused a near heart palpitation as I just want to jump out of my skin, run through fields, yell at the top of my lungs and fall on my knees emptied from all of these crazy emotions.

Instead, I find myself in a small apartment, talking to an invisible audience, working for a boss I never see and serving a husband who has his head in a book 90% of the time or so it seems. If only I could hear the audience laugh or cry with me, if only I could reach through the phone and hand my boss the papers he needs and see the approval in his eyes, if only my husband would steal me away for a weekend and we only talk about each other and our future and dreams of ministry without a worry in the world. If only....

Then there is the issue of being 25 and all my friends having babies. Wow. That's fun. I really haven't been left out of too many things in life. Sure I was never a part of the "in crowd", but God blessed me with accomplishments, friends and an amazing family. For the first time though, a clock in me is ticking and I can't do a darn thing about it. Tick, tock, tick, tock...where's that measley alligator following me around with the "mommy clock" in his belly? Where does he come from and how do I lose him for a few more years? Capt. Hook, I understand why the tick tock drove you mad now.

One would think that an amazing husband who loves the Lord would be enough. One would think that a dream job and being a part of something much bigger than myself would be enough. One would think that an incredible family full of love for us would be enough. One would think that not missing a meal and being fully clothed for all occassions would be enough. One would especially think that God's grace, His mercy, His love, His salvation and His desire to have a relationship with me would be enough.

I think it is. However, satan slanders this beautiful picture and tells me it's not.

That's where I sit tonight. Tired of the lies, tired of the restlessness and tired of looking for the greener grass. It's here. An incredibly wonderful picture, drawn by my Heavenly Father instead of Burt, lays before me on the sidewalk and all I need to do is jump into it with faith. I can't wait for Mary Poppins to take my hand...it's time to jump.

Hello contentment. I'm here to stay. "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Philippians 4:11

Father God, Please move powerfully in my heart right now and break me of my restlessness nature. I need your forgiveness and grace and I repent of speaking from want. Please don't leave me to my fleshly desires and wants. They will not fulfill me. Only You can satisfy. You are my living bread and water. I love You and I will step in faith into the picture you have painted for me and I will be content with what You have placed before me. I'm thrilled and grateful for Your many, many blessings. I am learning to be content and I ask for Your strength as I embark on this journey. Thank you, Father.

The Beauty of Grace

Have you ever been hard on yourself? Ha! I heard that laugh out loud! It happens to the best of us... frozen pizza uncooked because you forgot to take the card board off, pasta all over the kitchen floor because you missed the strainer, hurt hubby because you bit his head off without even thinking twice, lonely friend because you haven't called in weeks, screwed up on an email at work that was to the President of some company and now you just remembered it's your mother-in-law's Birthday tomorrow and you haven't a clue what to get her, let alone has it been shipped. The next thing you know you are sulking. It's the biggest, ugliest pity party since you don't know when and mascara is streaking down your rosey cheeks and the pillow is covered in tears. All you can think is, "Why can't I do anything right?!?" You ponder and ponder your many faults, "too vast to count the sum of them".

Has this ever been you or am I really as odd as my husband thinks I am? Well, one of my many rollercoaster valleys consists of just that and I have come to the conclusion that I must get to the bottom of it so I can rise above it!

My current memory verse is Ephesians 2:4-5, "But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus."

Wow! Ok, before we get too excited here, we need to look at the entire context. I don't believe Paul was talking about our uncooked pizzas but rather our ugly, wretched sin and nature of wrath. Some of the items I listed above are indeed obvious sin (biting my hubby's head off), the other items may be a result of a more hidden sin that shows it's face but doesn't usually reveal it's name...Pride. Yuck! I never wanted to admit that I had pride. Ok, let me phrase that a little better, my pride didn't want me to admit that I had pride. Every time you think of having a pity party you might as well call it a "prideful pity party". They can be the most self-focused parties ever thrown. Now, having said that, let's get back to the good news!

If we are saved, then there is abundant good news in those verses. Paul speaks of our wretchedness and then says two very key words..."But God". Those words change everything and lay the foundation for the next part. Being rich in mercy, because of His great love for us, God made us alive and raised us together to sit together with Christ Jesus! All of this because by GRACE we have been saved.

I pray, Father, that the next time I think of throwing a "prideful pity party" that I will remember this verse, remember your mercy and your grace, repent from my sin and by Your strength return to Your fellowship and the blessings you have given me such as a seat with Christ Jesus in the Heavenly places!

I pray that I will also remember this verse when someone else in my life needs grace. When my husband is cranky or hurts my feelings or forgets to do something, or when my friend doesn't handle a situation well. I want to give them grace like you have given me grace.

The beauty of grace is that it is a gift to us from God, not because we deserve it (lands sake there is no way!), but because He is rich in mercy and has a great love for us.