Margaret: "There's a reason why I've been alone all this time, I'm comfortable that way. And I think it would just be a lot easier if we forgot everything that happened and I just left."
Andrew: "You're right, that would be easier."
Margaret: "I'm scared."
Andrew: "Me too." (They Kiss)
Never marrying would be a whole LOT easier in many ways. For those that are not married, I'm sure that sounds crazy considering your longing for a spouse, companion, lover and for the many, many joys of marriage (yes, there are MANY). However, for those that are married, you understand exactly what I mean. Almost every decision you make affects your spouse. For women, the cooking, cleaning and laundry doubled. I almost wrote a book and still might entitled, The Day My Laundry Doubled. Of course, it would be an encouraging book full of wisdom (that I am yet to attain) for new brides, yet I do believe everyone must know the truth about marriage instead of the false impression our Christian culture leans toward. Marriage isn't all about sex without sin, it isn't about unending infatuation or even lovingly discovering the mystery of your spouse 24/7. Yes, sex is amazing a lot of the time. Yes, I still look at my husband and often think that he is the most incredible man God could have made. Yes, there is much mystery to my hubby that I am yet to discover and yes, he is my best friend, companion and I wouldn't want to spend life with anyone else by my side. However, marriage is far from easy. In fact, it is the hardest thing I have done in my whole life and I am still doing it every day and will do it for the rest of my life, Lord willing.
That is why I LOVE those lines in the The Proposal. They accurately portray marriage. It isn't easy, they are both scared, but the love each other and are willing to sacrifice those feelings and their comfortable lives in order to spend it with each other. How beautiful!
I am currently reading 3 books and one of them I have read before I was married and I am re-reading it now that I can apply what I am learning. It is one of the most highly recommended books for newly weds and I totally agree! The title? You want to know it? Okay, okay... Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The big question the entire book is based upon is, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Isn't that powerful?
Allow me to share with you some inspiring quotes from the book, some by Thomas and others he simply includes to prove a point or add some humor.
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." ~ Socrates
"Marriage can be that holy place, the site of a relationship that proclaims God's love to this world, but Christian thinkers haven't always elected to look at marriage this way. For all their ambivalence about whether marriage is an inferior state, the early church fathers at least recognized that the analogy of reconciliation is the highest aim of marriage, pointing as a sign to the union of Christ with his church." ~ Gary Thomas
"Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion, but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting that any romance, however passionate." W.H. Auden
"Marriage is the merciless revealer, the great white searchlight turned on the darkest places of human nature." ~ Katherine Anne Porter
"A giant thread runs throughout Scripture comparing God's relationship to his people with the human institution of marriage." ~Gary Thomas
Is that enough to tickle your fancy or peek you interest? Even more than teaching me about marriage, I believe it will teach me to how to love God more. I'll keep you posted as I read along, but I just couldn't wait to share with you the incredible concept of holiness rather than happiness being our focus in marriage. What a breakthrough!! Now when Hubby and I have that argument or when I feel discouraged in our marriage, I am reminded that God is sanctifying me right now and I have an option as to how I respond. Godly or dishonoring to my husband and Christ? It can be a super hard choice, but it is easier to make the right one now that I know the purpose and God's plan in the midst of it all.
It really is beautiful and I am SO thankful that for once in my life I didn't take the easy way out.